“You’re stronger than you know. I can see that.” That’s what the front of a card said that I received the day before my surgery. Inside, a student had written: “This card was perfect for you, mainly because every time your name comes up in a conversation, I feel that ‘strong’ is the word that describes you. This, of course, is 100% accurate! If you have never thought of it before, your strength is what defines you and it is a trait that we all can see.”
“Strong” is a word I’ve heard frequently in the many well wishes I’ve received since being diagnosed with cancer. I suppose I always did see myself as a strong person, although I’m not sure I knew what being strong really meant (perhaps it was just another way to say I’m stubborn!). And I certainly never thought other people could see something like strength — what IS it they see that makes them think someone has this characteristic?
But being strong is hard, especially when everyone seems to hold you up on a “you are so strong” pedestal. No one can be strong 100% of the time. So what happens on the down days? Is it a weakness to cry? Do you have to do it alone and quietly so no one sees you in order to keep up the illusion that you are that strong person everyone thinks you are? Even as I write this, I’m wondering whether I really want to post this and expose that, yes, even I am vulnerable.
While I may not always see the strength in me that others apparently do, I’m grateful to them for telling me and I hope they will continue to do so, because reading those comments gets me through the rough days. Perhaps that’s what strength is – knowing when you need to rely on others to lift you up.
Share the strength.
Sharing the Strength 
Strong is being smart enough to know the day(s) you have to let down, not answer that phone or email, not answer the door, throw things (that don’t break), You are strong but being human means that mustard seed doesn’t take all the worries away 24/7. HE knows this and that is why we have emotions. You are strong, cuz.
I love the blog. You are a beautiful writer (and person) and you just never know who may benefit from your words down the road. I don’t know why the three of us were chosen for this disease but I truly believe in a reason for everything.
I’m so glad you like it, Vicki! I’m learning (stubbornly and slowly) that what you say is true — so hard to take it easy! And I agree that there is, indeed, a reason; perhaps this blog will become one.
I’m pretty sure that when people say how strong you are, it’s an effort to be supportive and give affirmation of a part of you they admire. I’m equally certain that it doesn’t at all mean that they expect you to be stoic all the time. Rather, as a previous poster said, strength can also be found in a willingness to be vulnerable, to break down, to ask for support from others. Especially because those who care about you want a chance to be strong for you, too!
Thank you, Tracy Your insights are valuable; I’m blessed to have so many supportive people surrounding me in strength (including you!). You know me and would probably agree that I put more pressure on myself to live up to a certain expectation than others do, so my approach to cancer has been no different. I think you just gave me an idea for another post!