“It’s all about choices.” That’s a phrase that a dear friend and I use at least once a week. Indeed, each of us is the sum of the choices we have made throughout our life — each decision leading us down a path that we are customizing just for us.
We make dozens of choices on a daily basis – whether to hit the snooze button one more time, what to wear, whether to go through the drive-thru instead of making dinner, to name just a few. For the most part, these aren’t going to drastically alter our life. However, there are many other decisions that will: where to work, who to marry, where to live, whether to have children. Then there are the choices you can make when it seems that you don’t really have a choice at all and that’s what I want to talk about in this post.
As a professor of public relations, one of the things I teach is crisis management. This term is actually a misnomer, because you can’t really manage a crisis; you can only manage your response to it. Life is no different. You can’t always control what happens to you; however, you CAN control how you react, and it’s those reactions that will not only determine the direction of your life, but also may reveal the person you are deep inside. The Dalai Lama said, “When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways: either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”
There’s no doubt that life knocks us down at times. Sometimes it takes longer than others to get back up. But get back up we must. As I mentioned in my last post, I have started to regain my old optimism after allowing myself to indulge in a month of self-pity. While that latter attitude might be well-deserved, it won’t enrich my life. Life is what we make of it – how we react to it. I’ve never had much patience for people who complain about a situation they can control (such as hating a job, yet not looking for a new one). I realize it’s harder when it’s a situation that you can’t control. However, perhaps it’s in those situations that our choices are most important. A lifelong friend just sent me a plaque that reads “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” Very true. You have to play the hand you’re dealt and, hopefully, you can do that with courage and grace – a bit of humor won’t hurt either!
I expect to have to make some important choices in the next few months. As a brief follow-up to my last post, I went to Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York City last week for a second opinion and was told that I had been getting excellent care in Buffalo. The doctor also said that the treatment I had received and that has been proposed is the same she would’ve recommended. That’s comforting and reassuring. She did tell me about several upcoming clinical trials (in Buffalo and New York City) for which I might be eligible, thus the decisions coming my way. I hope I will make the right one; in the meantime, I know I’ve made the right choice in how to react to the things I can’t change.
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
Share the strength.
Sharing the Strength 