I am not one to ask for help. Box too heavy to lift? I’ll carry the contents piece by piece. Can’t figure out a math problem? I’ll work on it until I do. Ask for directions? No way. For me to now be in a position where I must ask for help has been very difficult. Since my diagnosis, I’ve been blessed to have many friends and colleagues offer their support in any way I need. Because it’s not in my nature to accept help, I have graciously declined, opting instead to figure out a way to do things myself. However, my surgery has greatly restricted what I can do, and I now have been forced to rely on the generosity of others.
I’ve always been very independent, so asking for help makes me feel weak, even lazy. However, my perspective has changed a lot in the past couple months, thanks to the wisdom of two close friends. As my radiation was nearing an end, I was having lunch with one of them and we were talking about my independence and hesitance to accept help. My friend has known me for a long time and knows my personality well. He asked me to look at the offers for help in a different way. He said that perhaps God had put it upon people’s hearts to help me and, if I didn’t allow them to, I was actually depriving them of something they felt inspired to do. I like to think of myself as someone who cares deeply about others, so this really struck a chord. More recently, a colleague commented on a Sharing the Strength post by saying, “ . . . those who care about you want a chance to be strong for you, too!”
I realize now that accepting help from others helps them as well as me. It is gradually becoming a bit easier for me to acknowledge my physical limitations and ask for, and welcome, assistance when I need it. My cousin, who is a cancer survivor, told me, “Strong is being smart enough to know the day(s) you have to let down,” and she’s right. I am very blessed to be surrounded by those willing to give so much of themselves to help me. I know I will not always be as restricted as I am right now and, one day, I hope to be able to return the deep friendship, love, graciousness, and generosity that have been shown to me.
Share the strength.
Sharing the Strength 
I’m really enjoying your writing, Ann. My mom shared a similar wisdom with me several years ago: that not accepting/asking for help might be denying someone the opportunity to be kind. It’s a tough lesson to learn, isn’t it? Much love to you.
Your mother is wise! Yes, it is tough; hopefully, I’m getting a bit better at it. Glad you’re enjoying the blog — it’s been nice to have time to write again. Love you lots!
Ann, I also have enjoyed (?) your writing. This one particularly hit me because so often I have offered help to someone and they don’t take me up. The offer is so genuine, but I guess they think its not? People who offer help are there for you. Take it!
So nice to hear from you, Kathy! I’m glad you found the blog. I can only speak for myself when I say I know offers from help from others are indeed genuine, it’s just hard for me to accept. That said, I’m SO glad that I put my stubbornness aside and accepted Sarah’s gracious offer to stay with me. She has been a lifesaver, especially during doctor’s appointments (and all the remaining hours of each day!).