“Beware the Ides of March.” Yes, I realize it’s not quite the 13th (or 15th, for that matter) of the month and it’s not March. I’m rather conjuring up the phrase that has now evolved to being a metaphor for impending doom. I know what you’re thinking: “Wow, this will be an uplifting post!” It’s true that this won’t be all sugar and spice and everything nice. However, it’s not all gloomy and I think the topic is important.
I am very good at not focusing on bad things, which is why I wrote a post earlier this year on being “Queen of De-Nial.” I think it’s OK to practice denial. However, sticking your head in the sand and totally ignoring what’s happening in your life is not healthy. It’s good to have reality checks once in a while, and that’s what November does for me.
November 2013 held a lot of firsts for me. I went to my doctor about the swelling on my leg on Nov. 1. Although she didn’t think it was anything to worry about, she finally conceded to my getting an MRI after lots of anxious begging. I had that MRI two years ago today. On Nov. 12, she called me into her office to tell me about the “suspicious mass” that was most likely soft tissue sarcoma. Then it was Roswell Park’s turn. On Nov. 14, I met my surgeon for the first time. A biopsy followed on Nov. 19 and, on Nov. 26, my worst fears were confirmed: I had Stage 3 leimyoscarcoma, a type of soft tissue sarcoma that was rare and aggressive.
It’s hard for me to ignore these “anniversaries” and I don’t think I should. When each of these milestone days arrive with the turn of the calendar, I think about where I was and what I was thinking – and that’s positive, because it shows me how far I’ve come in two years. Yes, I still have cancer and, yes, it has spread; however, the bottom line is I’m still here after all I’ve been through – daily trips for radiation, hospital stays, surgeries, transfusions, chemo, and on and on — and that’s something to cheer about.
I believe that, once in a great while, it’s OK to acknowledge and reflect on the negative parts of our life, looking at where we have been — and where we are now.
Share the strength.
Sharing the Strength 
An important and inspiring post – I really needed to hear this today 🙂 xx
I’m so glad that it could help in some small way to make your day a little better. Thank you for stopping by!
Thanks, Ann! I think about you and your courage and strength OFTEN.
Thank you, Nancy! There’s no doubt that all those thoughts and prayers from back home play a huge role in how I’m doing.
[…] anxiety, the doctors’ visits, the tests, the biopsy, the diagnosis, the fear. I’ve written in previous posts that, although this is uncomfortable, self-reflection is necessary for each of us because it is […]