Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Radiation – check.  Surgery – check.  Now, phase 3 of my recovery begins.  Today, I start chemotherapy, which is sure to bring many changes.  Of course, it could be argued that changes started to occur the day I received my diagnosis.  But those changes have mostly been invisible (except for my leg, which can be hidden).  Chemo will bring more obvious changes that can’t be hidden, and it’s OK – I’m ready.  Interestingly enough, today’s topic in my daily devotional is “bloom” – and that’s a wonderful way to look at this next part of my journey.

I’m receiving in-patient chemo, which means I go into the hospital on a Monday and receive three medications via infusion until Friday.  I get a two-week break and then repeat.  I should be finished by June or July.  I’m curious as to what the first week will bring and how it will feel, but I’m not really nervous about it.  I consider myself to be cancer-free and chemo to be my friend – an extension of my little army, killing any rogue cancer cells floating around my body (think “Fantastic Voyage”).

Chemo isn’t always very effective with my type of cancer and I understand a lot of patients don’t opt for it.  However, my oncologist says I’m young (God Bless him!) and healthy, and since my tumor was aggressive, chemo is a no-brainer.  The truth of the matter is that I would’ve opted for it anyway, which follows my life philosophy — not getting to the end of my life and regretting not doing something.  Of all things, I don’t want to regret not doing everything possible to ensure the cancer doesn’t return.

On Friday when I leave the hospital, I’m going straight to my hairstylist and have him shave my head.  I couldn’t control cancer entering my body, but I can control some of its effects.  Those of you who know me know that I’m not the type of person to wait around for my hair to fall out.  I’ll take that matter into my own hands, thank you very much.  My hairstylist has been very sweet and says he considers the shave a privilege.  He’s already gotten me a short red wig that he says will mirror my current look.  (I actually toyed with going blonde and becoming “Anastasia,” but trust me when I say that look wasn’t for me!)  Actually, I really don’t see myself in a wig at all, except for a couple special occasions coming up.  I think the next time you see me, I will much more likely to be sporting a rock and roll bandana.

“Strange fascination, fascinating me. Changes are taking the pace I’m going through” — David Bowie

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