Lessons from the QB

I’m learning a lot from Jim Kelly right now.  Kelly is a big deal in Buffalo; not only did he lead us to four consecutive Super Bowls (yeah, it would’ve been nice if we won, but at least we got there), but he also remained in Buffalo when he retired and became an active citizen.  We love it when athletes come here to play for one of our pro teams and end up staying (to paraphrase Sally Field: “You like us, you really like us!”).

While my everyday life is far from that of a pro football Hall of Famer, we do have some similarities right now.  Along with the City of Buffalo and the sports world, I was disappointed to learn last month that Kelly’s cancer had returned less than a year after he was declared cancer free.  Last summer, he was diagnosed with oral cancer that took part of his upper jaw.  However, no post-surgical therapy was deemed necessary.  Then, in March, it was reported that the cancer was back and had spread.  I immediately thought two things: 1) this is why I’m glad I opted for chemo; and 2) cancer sure doesn’t discriminate.  Here is a big, strong, tough guy, yet cancer has found its way back into his life in less than a year.  How devastating it must be to get such a diagnosis.  I won’t lie.  It shook me up a bit because I thought, “This really can happen to anyone.”

The cancer is now in his sinus cavities and it turns out that surgery is currently not an option; instead he is undergoing a rigorous regiment of chemo and radiation.  Like me, after his first chemo treatment, he got sick and had to go on antibiotics, thus postponing his second chemo cycle.  I had been so down when that happened to me; watching how he handled the same thing, with faith and grace, was truly an inspiration.  Kelly’s wife, Jill, has been quoted as saying: “It’s such a great opportunity for Jim to be on the same level as everyone else, for people to see him struggle and to identify with him.  It gives everyone strength.”  And that’s true.  Their faith has been unwavering during this journey and watching them HAS offered strength.

I believe Kelly is supposed to start chemo again today, just like I am.  However, he is facing a much larger battle than I am right now and a painful one at that. I was very blessed that I never had any pain with my cancer.  Also, I’m cancer free now; my chemo is an insurance policy against it returning, not a treatment.  So as I start my second cycle today (with my white blood cells having returned to fight), I’ll reflect on the faith lessons recently learned from the quarterback and his wife — that we must embrace the path we’re on, with all its bumps and detours, because it is a divine path — and I pray his recovery will be swift, and he and his family comforted in the meantime.

“We are confident in the one who leads the charge! And we celebrate Him” – Jill Kelly

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What? I’m NOT Superwoman?

It’s been nearly three weeks since I started chemo.  I’m sad to report that while I was in the hospital, the doctors discovered something critical:  Apparently, I do not have a superwoman “S” on my chest like I always thought I did.  Surely this team of experts was wrong!  I come from a family of superwomen – collectively we are known as “the Reynolds women.”  We have an array of super powers, most of which must remain secret to the rest of the world (although I can tell you that leaping buildings in a single bound and X-ray vision are not among them).

Hopefully my “S” is still there and has just become invisible due to its apparent vulnerability to not just kryptonite, but also chemo cocktails.  Quite simply, chemo kicked my tookus.  I ended up having to stay an extra day in the hospital to help get some side effects under control, and it was at least a week before I started feeling like I could function again.  I never thought chemo would be easy; however, I felt my body, mind, and spirit were strong and I would get through it.  I was prepared for those side effects – or so I thought.  Fatigue and light-headedness quickly made me realize I was going to have to make some changes to my plans to resume teaching in the classroom – I simply didn’t have the strength to do it.  Nor was it a wise idea to expose my now-low tolerance to so many people.  A hallmark of the “Reynolds women” is their perseverance.  Not being able to do something is not part of my genetic makeup, and I don’t like it one bit.

It gets worse.  When I had my follow-up doctor’s appointment last week, I was told that the chemo had taken a toll on the core of my body.  Chemo reduces the number of white blood cells, which are important to stave off infection.  My count has fallen below the minimum to continue chemo next week.  Add to that, the “cold” I have been fighting for two weeks is actually pneumonia.  I had prepared myself for everything except that which I couldn’t control at all.  I have to wait for the antibiotics to treat the pneumonia, and I have to wait for my white blood cells to increase.  The ability to wait for something to happen because it’s out of my control is not one of my virtues.

I feel totally betrayed by my body.  I keep picturing the gigantic alien tripods in “War of the Worlds,” powerful beings immune to all the fighting power of the U.S. military only to fall susceptible to common germs.  Part of me feels like a failure to my clan, who is undaunted in the face of a challenge; other “Reynolds women” have successfully completed chemo.  Why did I have to have trouble out of the starting gate?

Accepting things out of my control and being patient – two big lessons for this superwoman to have to learn.  God must think I need them to further prepare me for this journey He has sent me on.  Who knows?  Maybe they will end up being the most powerful superwoman traits of all.

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