Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, people have commented on my “positive attitude.” Actually, people told me this a lot even before the cancer. It’s true that I (almost) always try to look at the bright side of things; I strive to find that silver lining to each dark cloud, so I approached cancer like I would anything else in life. It has made me wonder, however, what positive attitude really is. I believed my cancer was gone before the tests said so and I believe it won’t return – is that optimism, denial, or faith?
I admit to being a Pollyana. If you’re not familiar with her, she is the star of a self-titled children’s book about a little girl who always found something good in every circumstance. Through the years, the name has been given to those who are optimistic, and sometimes it’s used in a negative sense to describe someone who refuses to accept negative situations for what they are, which leads me to denial. At what point does positive thinking turn into denial, and is denial a bad thing if it keeps your attitude positive? Whew! Quite a conundrum! Then, of course, there is faith – believing in what cannot be seen, letting go and letting God.
I’m definitely am optimist. I believe people are raised in environments that will determine whether they are an optimist or pessimist. I was raised in a family that was told to “roll with the punches” and I choose to look at the world in a positive light. I also believe optimism is something that can be learned if people are open to the possibility. Recently on Facebook, I’ve seen a “7 Day Positivity Challenge” popping up on my friends’ timelines. I think that’s wonderful! I don’t like being around negative people because, quite frankly, they are depressing, which can rub off on those around them. Just recently, someone told me I shouldn’t consider myself cancer-free because the cancer will always come back, even 20 years later, and will return with a vengeance. How disconcerting! I don’t want to hear that, even if there may be scientific evidence to support the claim. This is a perfect example of cognitive dissonance – hearing something that disagrees with what you believe. It can literally cause physical stress, and I certainly don’t need that. Doubt can bring you down.
I do sometimes wonder if my optimism borders on denial. More often than not during the last 10 months, I did not focus on having cancer, even when looking at a bald head or a big scar. I’m not sure if that’s denial or simply choosing not to think about negative things. I do know that I have a strong faith, which has helped me not to worry because I knew God had a plan even if I didn’t know what it was. I have always trusted that the parachute would open.
So, are optimism, denial, and faith three separate things, or do they intertwine somehow? They seem like they should be different. The definitions I came up with are that denial is refusing to acknowledge a negative situation; positive thinking is acknowledging the situation, but focusing on the positive and hoping for the best; and, faith is acknowledging the situation and knowing the best will happen. That said, I can see myself across the entire spectrum, so maybe they’re not distinctive after all. Perhaps it doesn’t matter how I categorize it as long as I keep doing it.
“… there is something about everything that you can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it” — Eleanor H. Porter, “Pollyana”
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