The Power of Words

During this journey I’ve be on, I’ve thought a lot about words, which may seem strange considering I’m a communication professor who primarily teaches writing.  For years, I have taught the value of words and picking just the right one to concisely communicate one’s purpose.  I’ve explained the importance of connotative vs. denotative meanings: how the words “cheap” and “inexpensive,” although they basically mean the same thing, conjure up very different mental images.  I’ve stressed how the poor placement of words in a sentence may alter the writer’s true intention: “My father took me to my first horse race at the age of 8” – he’s got to be the youngest father in history!  I’ve pleaded with students to stop using “they” as a pronoun for everyone and everything.

Yet those aren’t the “word rules” I’ve been thinking about.  In a previous post about affirmative prayer, I talked about focusing on positive outcomes and the idea that what we put out in the universe comes back to us.  That includes the words we choose to speak.  Since I was first diagnosed with cancer, I’ve tried (and been mostly successful) with avoiding words like “sick” or “ill.”  I had cancer, period.  I felt just fine, so I didn’t want negativity worming its way into my psyche.  Since my surgery, I’ve tried to avoid saying I have cancer; it was removed and is no longer in my body.  I’m on the path to wellness, I’m healing, I’m getting stronger.

As I have been thinking more about the power of words, I have come across several readings reinforcing this thought.  Last month, I read the following passage in my daily devotional: “The words I speak and write carry energy and power, so I choose them with care and clear purpose . . . My chosen words are sacred.  What I send into the world returns to me multiplied.”  More recently, I came across another reading taken from “The Twelve Powers of Man,” a 1930 book written by Charles Fillmore, a leader of the New Thought movement. He taught that one of the 12 powers is at the root of the tongue and that the throat is “the door between the formless and the formed,” meaning that words shape ideas into reality.  He said that “every word makes an imprint.”

I believe this to be true.  Our words can have enormous impact on others – they can console, nurture, motivate, teach, celebrate, degrade, hurt.  Why wouldn’t our own words not affect us, as well?  I have worked in public relations for 29 years and understand the concept that perception is reality.  If you or others around you perceive what you say to be real, those words elicit very real emotions and reactions.  Have you ever wished you hadn’t said something because of the effect those words had on someone?   If my words create my reality, then I choose a reality where my words work for good and bring encouragement, positive energy and healing to my life and the lives of those around me.

“So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose” —  Isaiah 55:11

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A Symphony of Blessings

There are some times when all seems right with the world.  This week has been one of those times.  In a previous post, I talked about the importance of being present in the moment – not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, but rather recognizing the blessings in front of you so you don’t miss the tapestry of today.  It has been easy to recognize my blessings this week.

The week began on Mother’s Day – my favorite day of the year (yep, it outranks Christmas and my birthday!).  The day started out with a nice long chat via Skype with my daughter, with my adorable 18-month-old grandson making random appearances.  My son then treated me to a wonderful lunch, during which I ran into some friends I hadn’t seen for a long time.  Well wishes from my step-children and Facebook posts from former students to their “PR Mom” followed.  I went to bed that night feeling so blessed!

The next day, the thermometer hit 74 degrees – time to remove the winter seal on my lakefront window, open the front door, and enjoy a soothing breeze.  In the community where I live, an open front door means “stop on by” – something I really like – and people did stop by to see how I was doing.  I’ve spent so many weeks behind closed doors between surgery and winter that I hadn’t seen my neighbors too much. It was nice to visit with them.

The temperature rose 10 degrees the following day and that breeze got even more delightful.  I had to do a lot of grading and it was a good day for it – so peaceful.  It was quiet except for the chirping of birds and an occasional splash of lake waves against the rocks.  I couldn’t help but pause occasionally and smile because the day was so nice.  When it was time for a break, I took a nap, indulging in the peace and quiet that surrounded me.

On Wednesday, I made the trek to the cancer institute in Buffalo for my in-between chemo checkup.  My white blood cell count was way up, which was great news.  Several weeks ago, it had gotten so low that chemo had to be postponed. The next round of chemo is a go for Monday, and I’m ready.

Yesterday and today, I went to campus.  I even drove myself (the first time in three months) and had enough strength to run errands each day.  It was so nice to do something normal; when you are diagnosed with cancer, normalcy seems to disappear.  During the two days, I met with all 42 of my seniors to review their capstone projects.  In the process, we reflected on how fast four years had gone by and discussed graduation and their futures.  These are bittersweet moments – experiencing pride and happiness at all they’ve accomplished, yet sadness at having to say goodbye, feeling rather like a mother bird pushing her young out of the nest.  Tears, laughter, and hugs were the hallmarks of these meetings.  A couple students left behind cards with beautiful sentiments.  One student proudly presented me a picture of a flower she painted, another gave me a beautiful quartz bracelet in my favorite color, and a third gave me a plaque of a starfish (I have a long-standing tradition of giving each of my seniors a starfish with a copy of the “starfish story,” encouraging them to make a difference in the world).  On the way home, I felt a great sense of fulfillment.  The semester was over.  Despite all the obstacles, I was able to finish it.

Yes, it’s been a good week.  I feel that God, acting as a Heavenly Maestro, orchestrated notes each day that have culminated in a beautiful symphony – a symphony of blessings.  Even as I write this, I look out my window at a beautiful sunset over the lake, the color of which ranges in blue tones from navy to turquoise, and I’m aware of the warmth that surrounds me from a prayer shawl that a complete stranger knitted for me.  Many blessings indeed.

The things that happened this week were not extraordinary.  I just took the time to notice them, to feel them, to appreciate them.  Did you hear the symphony in your life this week?

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It’s in the DNA

Yes, I know it.  I’m terribly stubborn.  I can’t help it; it’s in the DNA.  Anybody who knows my sister and me will quickly agree.  We know we get it from the family patriarch – our father – who is 101 and has one helluva stubborn streak (probably one of the reasons he’s lived so long!).  I really do try to work at not being quite so stubborn, because I know it’s very taxing on those around me – especially these days as I’m continuing cancer treatment.

I finished my second chemo cycle last week.  It went a little smoother than the first go-round.  I’m getting a bit better at identifying how my body is going to react to the various medicines being injected and planning ahead for them.  After the five-day hospital stay, I came home and continued to exist in what I refer to as my “chemo la-la land,” a fuzzy place that causes me mostly to just sleep.  This is followed by several days of weakness and dizziness, as my body starts to recover, and this is when my stubbornness starts to surface.

Today I insisted on going to the university where I teach to see the first round of my senior students give the most important presentation of their collegiate careers – their capstone, which involves presenting a public relations campaign they have been working on all semester (and working on under difficult circumstances, I might add, because of my health).  It took me an hour and a half to get ready and I couldn’t drive myself, but, by golly, I was going to get there come hell or high water.  I won’t lie; fighting the weakness and dizziness was difficult at times.  However, seeing my students conduct themselves so professionally and successfully to a real client made my heart soar.

I realize that pushing myself may not have been the greatest decision in the world – that it would’ve been better for me to spend the day resting at home.  This is when my stubbornness drives those who love and care for me crazy, because they know I would be better off doing that, too.  They also know it’s fruitless to try to stop me once I put my mind to something.  I appreciate their frustration because I know they only have my well-being at heart, and I really have tried to not be so difficult.  After my first chemo treatment, I accepted some limitations that I never thought I would – drastically changing my teaching schedule – so I wouldn’t push myself.  However, there are some things that are just too important to give up, and today was one of those things.

One of the ways in which I define myself is by the love I have for teaching and my students, not the cancer from which I’m recovering.  I needed to see them today – they needed to see me – and I will be there for the students presenting their projects in two days, as well.  And tomorrow, regardless of how I’m feeling, I’ll be stubborn again and attend a funeral for the mother of one of my best friends. I’m being reasonable (well, at least what I think is reasonable).  I didn’t go to the viewing and I won’t go to the graveside ceremony or the funeral breakfast, but it’s important to me to be at the funeral to pay my respects and say goodbye to a woman who I called “mom” and to support my friend and her family.

In a previous post, I talked about my life philosophy being not getting to the end of my life and regretting not doing something.  The things I’m pushing myself to do this week are things I would regret not doing.  So, yes, I’m being stubborn right now (or we could just call it being perseverant or strong-willed!).  In any case, it’s how mind my works.  I promise I’ll behave later (well, sort of).

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