Rise!

I don’t usually like two post two days in a row (I don’t want you to get too bored!); however, that’s the way the calendar falls. Happy Easter, everyone!

I suppose if you have to hear news like I heard earlier this week, Holy Week is a good time to hear it. The meaning behind this week is the reason I have not thought that much about death itself since my cancer diagnosis, because my faith tells me that it is death of the body only. Don’t get me wrong – I’m certainly not looking forward to leaving this early. I had hoped to enjoy another 20 years with  my children and grandchildren, sit by the lake, teach (well, maybe, not the full 20!), and perhaps get into a “little” more trouble. However, that was MY plan, and now I have to acknowledge that I am not the planner – God is.

What I HAVE feared is dying – quite a different thing from death. In addition to a worsening physical condition, I have a sense of urgency, from feeling guilty about never writing last year’s thank you notes to wanting to clean the closets, and there’s so much I want to say, the hardest of those being the “see you laters.” During my cancer journey, and especially during the last week, so many of you have commented on my courage and bravery, and I can’t thank you enough for such kind words and for that support; however, in reality, YOU are the ones holding ME up.

I am human and get sad. I do find comfort, though, that Jesus was human and sad, too. In the Garden of Gethsemane, he suffered thinking about his fate and prayed three times for God to “pass the cup” – to let him live. He also acknowledged that it be God’s will, not His. Because of His courage, bravery, and love, we have been blessed with the resurrection, which we celebrate today. We are ALL able to rise!

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Made it! No Regrets

Now that my condition has worsened, I don’t have much energy to write, so what strength I do have, I want to use here, because I still have a lot to say (so even though this post may sound like a swan song, it isn’t meant to be!).

In previous posts, you’ve heard me talk about the Reynolds Women – generations of strong, independent, faith-filled women – a group of which I am extremely proud to be a part. Three of them, in particular, helped shape who I am and the goals I would have for my life.

My Aunt Ruby was a female broadcast pioneer in the area in which I grew up. She helped me to solidify my choice of going to college to major in broadcast journalism and often delighted about the parallel our lives had taken.

My Aunt Sarah gifted me with a sense of quirkiness (she once dyed her hair green for St. Patrick’s Day) and, most of all, opened the world to me by introducing me to her love for travel. In fact, when she was much older and her husband had passed away, we decided to go to the British Isles together – quite the adventure! I don’t think that I included stubbornness – well, we like to call it “tenacity” – as another characteristic of the Reynolds Woman. Aunt Sarah was suffering from intense neck pain and wearing a TENS unit for pain management. Not surprisingly, that did not stop her from lying on her back and bending her head backwards so she could properly kiss the Blarney Stone. Yep! That’s a Reynolds Woman.

Then there’s my Aunt Peggy. When I was a teenager, she used to say to me her life goal was I.D.T.A. She explained that it stood for “I Did That Already.” Her goal in life was to be able to use that response to just about any topic that came up in a conversation. It became almost a secret code for us. I remember embroidering the initials once and putting it in a frame for her. Another time, I had it engraved on a necklace for her. All the while, I didn’t realize I was forming my own life philosophy: I didn’t want to get to the end of my life and have any regrets.

This is a philosophy that comes with many risks, mind you. However, I always felt it would be better to take the risk instead of sitting in a rocking chair one day wondering “what if?” I can’t imagine anything worse. Even if you fall on your face when taking the risk, you at least know how the situation turned out.

It is life mantra that has served me well, and, as I do near the end of my life (and not in a rocking chair!), I can honesty say, “I made it!” Of course, my life is not over yet, but I think I’m safe in saying that I’m at a point where I can declare that I have no regrets. To quote a lyric from one of my favorite songs, “I Lived,”:

“I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived.”

Share the strength.